Purely Said Getting Help:
Identifying toxic behaviors and patterns and more.
You may not realize why you need to hear many of these recordings. And that's perfectly fine. If, however, you wonder or need some guidance or education, that's what this page is for.
Toxic people come in various forms, and their behavior can have a negative impact on our well-being and relationships. While it’s important to remember that people are complex and can exhibit toxic behavior in different ways, here are six types of toxic individuals commonly observed:
1. The Manipulator: Manipulators are skilled at influencing and controlling others to serve their own interests. They may use emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or ghosting to make you doubt yourself and bend to their will in every way possible.
2. The Criticizer: These individuals have a habit of constantly criticizing and belittling others. They may focus on your flaws, mistakes, or weaknesses, eroding your self-confidence and self-esteem. They will want you to change in any way they can.
3. The Drama Queen/King: Drama-prone people thrive on creating or escalating conflicts and drama in their relationships. They may exaggerate situations, play the victim, or seek attention by making everything about themselves. They often turn the tables. For example, they may accuse you of performing an act that they are doing simply to create more drama. They are attention-seeking individuals.
4. The Energy Vampire: Energy vampires drain your emotional and mental energy through constant complaining, negativity, and their own unresolved personal issues. Being around them can leave you feeling emotionally exhausted and drained. They enjoy having everything focused on them with very little concern about what you may be going through or your well-being.
5. The Jealous Competitor: Jealous competitors are driven by envy and a need to outdo others. They constantly compare themselves to those around them and may engage in passive-aggressive behavior or sabotage to undermine others’ success. Their actions have no logic or reason behind them. They can’t control their hunger to be the “be-all and end-all” of everything.
6. The Boundary Violator: These individuals disregard personal boundaries, both physical and emotional. They may invade your personal space, share confidential information without permission, or ignore your feelings and needs. When caught doing such things, they will turn the tables and make it all about what you did wrong, thus violating common decency. Sometimes, neither party may actually know what healthy boundaries are.
7. Narcissist: a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
8. Codependency: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.
Recognizing these toxic behaviors is essential for setting healthy boundaries and protecting your well-being. It’s important to remember that people can exhibit toxic traits occasionally without being inherently toxic themselves. However, if you find yourself consistently dealing with any of these types of harmful behaviors, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship(s) and consider limiting contact or seeking support. You can try to bring these concerns up with the party you are concerned about but don’t expect results.
While we may want to help these types of people, we need to remember that we can not impose morals or ethics on someone who has none and no desire to learn… frustrating as it is.
If you need help, I’ve created this page: https://thevoiceofamylynn.wordpress.com/2023/12/08/24-7-crisis-lines/ 24/7 Crisis Lines. Also, if you have some information you’d like to share for that page, please contact me today!
Additional content for reporting and dealing with romance scams, con artists, stalkers, abusers, and more:
1. File a complaint with the FTC at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov
2. Report it to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3.)
3. File a complaint with the FCC if the scam was initiated by a phone call or text message.
4. The Grief Recovery Handbook.
5. https://www.purelysaid.com
6. Seek medical attention should you have suicidal or homicidal thoughts.
7. Reach out to your support group, church group, family, and friends.
8. Reach out to any of the hotlines I shared in the link.
9. Reach out to local news sources.
10. See if there are any resources listed here that we constantly update: http://www.annikaswfh.com/aboutblacklist This has worldwide content that may help, and if you know of some not listed, please let us know!
11. Do not engage with the bully, abuser, scammer, etc. No matter how badly you want to.
12. Always take screenshots of the abuse.
13. Make a log of the phone calls, texts, and emails.
14. Write down in the log how the abuse made you feel.
15. Get a restraining order if necessary.
16. Get a protection order against stalking.
17. Set up Google alerts to protect yourself.
18. If you’ve been hacked or the abuser in your life knows your passwords, change them to really secure ones.
19. Change your home security codes.
20. Check your phone, car, and belongings for any tracking devices or applications.
21. Tighten your social media settings for a higher level of privacy.
Defining extras:
1. Romance scam: A type of cyber fraud when the criminal uses fake information to gain your trust.
2. Catfishing scam: This is a type of online romance scam in which the perpetrator creates a fake online identity to trick, scam, or steal from you.
3. Con artist: A person who cheats or tricks others into believing something that is not true.
4. Stalker: A person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.
5. Pathological Liar: Someone who lies frequently and without a good reason.
6. Any other scam: Someone who has stolen your trust and possibly your money and time.
7. Love Bomb: is a manipulative tactic where someone overwhelms another person with excessive attention, affection, and flattery. The goal was to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated.
8. Breadcrumbing: is a term for when someone gives someone else small amounts of attention to keep them interested but without any intention of committing to a relationship. It’s a form of emotional abuse that can be used to attract a potential or current partner. Sometimes, you don’t even realize that this is going on. Your needs are not being met, but you are getting some little things here and there.
9. Ghosting: is when a person totally ignores the other person in every way possible, as though they have died or simply disappeared from the face of the planet.
10. Grooming: is the action by a pedophile of preparing a child for a meeting, especially via an internet chat room, with the intention of committing a sexual offense.
11. Gaslighting: manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
Common Signs Someone is Lying:
1. Unusual body language.
2. Providing unnecessary details or oversharing.
3. Avoiding eye contact.
4. Inconsistencies in stories.
5. Defensiveness.
6. Denial.
This publication is meant as a source of valuable information for the reader. However, it is not meant as a substitute for direct expert assistance. If such a level of assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Some of the advice may need to be updated due to the nature of the internet changing. Times change, people change, and the use of the internet has dramatically changed over time. All of these factors need to be taken into consideration when applying the advice shared.
